I dont know what i want to be?

for what it's worth: I think you'd make an excellent art educator! (it takes one to know one so I'm in the position to judge). you seem to have a variety of interests but they are not random. feels like everything involves art in a way, and other people. I doubt whether you would be happy being a psychiatrist, though no doubt you'd be a good one! it's not clear to me what the girlfriend wants, and why. try to focus on what you need. reading your question, there was some deja vu (I used to not know which road to take) so maybe my solution works for you: live action role play. (if you don't know it: there's a lot of info on the web, you tube too) and I don't mean the re-enactment stuff (though if that's what you like: go for it!) but the creating a world/story together with a bunch of creative people in an improvising way. inspired by the artwork of Brody Condon (do check his site tmpspace.com, if you have the slightest interest in fantasy and game) I designed some plays, got stuck in one also, and got out. some might call this creative therapy (well actually it works big time for everyone involved), so maybe it's a direction you could try.